I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
We don't watch enough power rangers
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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