They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
