It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Even my vagina gasped.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
