Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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