What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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