she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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