ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
