ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
