Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
