Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
