Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Rumble strips road head = magical
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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