pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
handjob tips. give me some.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Randomize
