I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
we're making bets on your personal life
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
