That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
