Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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