whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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