Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
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