check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
did i walk over a car last night?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Randomize
