I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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