ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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