My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
