Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
