That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
