I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
