My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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