Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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