We won't sleep together?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
