On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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