OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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