38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
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