spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
