let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
FUCK WHALES
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize