similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
