hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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