So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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