Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
