its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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