That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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