what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
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Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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