Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Just high enough for therapy.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
