you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
