ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
