There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
