Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
