So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
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Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
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This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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