sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
