Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
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