bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
