just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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