Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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