how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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