He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
