Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
