I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
