he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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