I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
