you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
