I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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