Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
