I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
