We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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