Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I AM VODKA MAN
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
