Princesses don't give blow jobs
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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