So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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